operation have a gay friend backfired
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
