Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize