my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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