just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
