spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
