Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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