He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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