im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
