I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
My vagina just clenched in fear
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
