Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
We have started to decorate penises.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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