Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize