You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
