I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
