You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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