The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I believe in your delicious
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
