Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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