Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
