You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize
