It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
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