best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
