He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
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