Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
