come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
