And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
