Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
