i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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