Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I would fuck him just for his dog
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize
