I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
