I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
