She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
