God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
