dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
