What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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