The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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