just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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