Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
