Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
