Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
