i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
