Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
