got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
