Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
