just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Hippo gnu deer
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
