i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
