hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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