hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
