oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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