the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
