there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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