Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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