i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
