Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
