so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
