I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Too much gin, very little bucket
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
