We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
