shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Fuck appropriateness.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Randomize
