Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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