i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
