Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize